3 Lessons in Friendship I Learned From ‘The Best Man Holiday’

Don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil the film for those who haven’t seen it. 

Like many others, I took a trip to the movies this past weekend to see the sequel to the 1999 classic, The Best Man. Personally, I will always favor the original film to the sequel, but I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the cast come back together after 14 years. Holiday took me on an emotional roller coaster for sure, but it was all in good reason. Similar to the first film, there were a number of different relationship dynamics to keep movie goers entertained and engaged with the story’s plot. Whenever I see films like this, I find myself taking mental note of what the director, writers and producers are looking to accomplish. It’s no surprise that the foundation of this film is built upon friendships, no matter how old, new and estranged they may be. Here are three lessons about friendship that I took away from Best Man Holiday:

1. Time may not always heal wounds, but forgiveness will.  Within seconds of their first interaction, we immediately notice that Lance (Morris Chestnut) still resents Harper (Taye Diggs) after years of being apart. But we notice as the film goes on, how much Harper really want to try and make amends to get back to what they had. I’ve definitely experienced this scenario before. I’ve learned that forgiveness of yourself first, and then the ones that have wronged you is critical. In the film, Lance portrays a man whose faith is deeply rooted in God, But in order to move on completely from a situation you have to be willing to forgive. The one thing that I admire about Lance and Harper’s friendship is that no matter how low and sneaky Harper can be, Lance seems to understand that he means well. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Honesty is the best policy. At times a number of the characters in this film pushed the limits of sneakiness and deceit — but no one better than Harper. I walked away from this film with understanding even more that it is absolutely critical to be forthright from the jump instead of lying to your loved ones. Harper has a habit of doing this not only in the original film, but in the sequel as well. He could have avoided a lot of damage by openly communicating his thoughts, feelings and intentions early on instead of concealing them. That goes the same for us in real life. If you find that you’re having an issue with someone you care about, speak on it! I believe in choosing your battles wisely, but there’s nothing more detrimental than holding back something you feel passionately about. And while sometimes some things are better left unsaid, ‘keeping it 100’ with your homies can save you the drama and the pain that come with it.

3. Your real friends can always tell if something is wrong, so speak up! I  wear my heart on my sleeve, always have and always will.  My closest friends can always immediately sense when something is wrong with me, which can at times be a blessing and a curse. (If you saw the film, you exactly what I’m referring to.) But I know that their intentions are good, and they just want to help me solve whatever problem I may be facing. Concurrently, you must be willing to speak up for yourself when you know something is wrong. As previously stated, there’s only so much that we can hold back until we begin bursting at the seams. We are built to withstand a lot of the curve balls and plot twists that life throws our way, but we are blessed with friends — good friends — to help us lighten the load when it gets a little heavy. Closed mouths never get fed, so never be afraid to advocate for yourself when you need support, encouragement or even a hug and a shoulder to cry on. 🙂

And there you have it! What did you think of The Best Man Holiday? Leave a comment below or tweet me your thoughts!

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