Disclaimer: This is in NO WAY to shade Drake and this new ‘epiphany’ he has discovered, but it’s important for millennials to know that making friends is still possible and vital to your everyday life.
I hope that you all have a had an eventful and enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend.
As many of you all are aware, the 26 year-old rapper known as Drake has been known to create popular songs with very catchy phrases. First, he was telling us that ‘You Only Live Once (YOLO)’ was the motto that we should all live our lives by (like we have more than one life to live though.) Then, he was exclaiming that he ‘Started From the Bottom’ and has now arrived to the plateau in his life that he wants to be — you know, flashy cars, nice clothes, expensive vacations, all of that. And now most recently, Drake has the kids running around screaming “No New Friends” and encouraging people to keep the circle tight with those that you have trusted since day one.
I’m not sure about you, but I sometimes find myself a little puzzled by all of this life advice that Drake has been giving, and sometimes find his words a little contradictory — but that’s a topic for another blog post. As a guy in his twenties, I’m sure he has experienced broken friendships, trust issues with those you thought had your back, and people just being down right rude and inconsiderate. And I’ll admit — whenever any of the songs above come on while I’m out with friends, I sing along with the track and even imitate one of Drake’s sweet dance moves. But I can’t say that I’m in favor of this “No New Friends” lifestyle.
Here are three reasons why I think this idea of “No New Friends” isn’t the most sufficient:
1. New friends offer new and exciting opportunities. While it has been said that it can be difficult to make friends as a 20-something, I think if you put yourself in the right social settings, you will be pleasantly surprised by the types of people you meet. Your network can ultimately equal your net worth, but doesn’t mean that each new friendship has to be considered a transaction. We should never think of ways we can always GET something from another person, but instead be open to learning something about ourselves and the world around us with each new person we meet. You never know how someone’s life experiences can enrich your own, or what lessons you can learn from someone else.
2. Some your “real friends” can possibly change and become fake too. Chile, look. Even the ones you’ve been “down with since day one” can try to get real cute and surprise you with some newness. And that’s fine! People go through things that require growth and change — I get it! But it’s ultimately up to you to decide if you want to keep rolling with it or just let it go. It is oh-so common for people to grow apart, that’s why number one is so important. Especially if you find yourself moving to a new city, your may or may not have your same ‘ride-or-die’ crew come with you for the ride. It takes work to really maintain a friendship at any stage in our lives, but the older you get the more truth you begin to see in a person. Believe them.
3. As a 20-something, you should be able to adequately gauge how someone can contribute to you life. This is an ongoing process, but after dealing with a number of different types of friendships in the past, I know myself pretty well to decipher who I want to roll with for the long run, and who could just simply be a passer-by. There’s no accurate barometer for friendship, but it’s important to remember that it takes time, effort and patience to build any relationship. I’m a feelings person, so I believe that every person that has walked in, made a place, or walked out of my life has been for a divine reason. Learning from those experiences has made me a better person, and I hope will continue to make me an even better friend.
Moral of the story: we should never feel like we’re too old to make new friends. To all of my friends old and new, I thank you for your companionship, loyalty and honesty. You all have brought out the best of me, and I’m grateful to those past, present and future friends for the lessons learned and memories shared. In each new friendship, you HAVE to start from the bottom and build trust, loyalty and honesty — so don’t be afraid to take a chance on something different. After all, we only live once, right?