Just A Thought: Be Careful How You Use the F-Word (Friendship)

seasons greetings everyone!

i hope that you all had a marvelous thanksgiving holiday weekend. now that we’re moving into the end of the fourth quarter of 2012, i’m really taking time to reflect on the events of this year and how they’ve impacted me personally.

the last few weeks have been business as usual, but there would be times where i would become fairly stressed about the typical issues of a millennial: making sure my checking and savings accounts are set up accurately (lol), ensuring that student loan payments are made (on time), the long list of tasks and deadlines to complete for work, and what gifts i should get my family for christmas. in the midst of that chaos, i had to stop myself and realize the many things that i am blessed with on daily basis. we often become so jaded by our problems that the little thing that make life worth living get thrown to the far back burner, a place where they don’t belong. one blessing that i don’t take for granted is the gift of friendship.

i’m very grateful for my friends–especially the ones that have held me down and lifted me up when i hit the lowest of lows. but in regards to the reflection of friendship, i read a very interesting quote on instagram this weekend that stung upon first glance, but really made sense in the end:

at some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.

yep, that sounds about right.

last week i spoke to the topic of listening to your heart, and for a while the status of certain ‘friends’ in my life has been weighing heavy. and i’ll admit–sometimes have the problem of letting certain things people go when their particular season in my life has come to an end because i care too much. but in all honesty though: the only thing that can come from departure is growth. the thought of letting anyone go can be an internal struggle for me, but as my cousin T told me last night: “people that want to be in your life will make time to be in your life.”

the older i get, the more i realize that it isn’t completely necessary to have a large crew of people in your immediate circle. everyone does NOT have to be a “best friend”–it’s even cool to have acquaintances to just shoot the breeze with from time to time too.  we also have to be cautious of WHAT you open your mouth about too (but y’all knew that already, right?) at any rate, i just want to take time to thank those friends, those special blessings in my life that just make each day brighter. whether it is via text, email,  tweet or a mention on facebook–each of you mean the world to me and continue to make me feel loved. no matter the distance that may separate some of us, i’m grateful for the connection that we have and the bonds that we have created.

to my friends that i may not speak to that often–those of you whose seasons have come and gone: i’m grateful for you as well. (these individuals aren’t bad people at all–they’re actually pretty nifty) but whether you know it or not, you’ve taught me how to be a better friend as well as the importance of appropriating my feelings of care and trust. i wish you nothing but the best–gracias 🙂

to conclude, friendship (like any relationship) is a commitment.  if you find yourself in a situation that’s not exactly 50-50 (those moments when people do you wrong and throw all types of ridiculous shade, and you somehow find yourself apologizing for their misdoings) then it’s definitely okay to breakaway, wish that person well and be on your merry way! we must learn to trust our gut instincts and know when it’s time to bounce from a certain situation that is toxic and not sustainable to our aura of positivity.

i think i’m going to continue with this weekly series of “life lessons i’m learning” — it’s definitely a great method of reflection and clarification.

do you find this to be true? if so, speak on it!

i hope that you all have a great week.


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