We’ve all experienced it once or twice before. Having that one person you can’t seem to shake from your thoughts. What it is about them that has created these feelings to the point that the songs you hear on your India Arie Pandora station make you think of what should or could have been? Or if you’re a dance enthusiast, you find yourself creatively daydreaming choreography of awesome solo pieces to perform (if you ever got the chance) how you really feel with them sitting front row and center in the audience.
Well stop it right now. Listening to John Legend songs or even London songbird Rox isn’t going to do much but leave you with memories of the past and wondering why. Something that I’ve learned to appreciate about getting older is that I’ve become much more real with myself. But being that we are human, it is apart of our chemical making to feel. And sure, you’ll have mini relapses–those imaginary thoughts that will creep into your brain when you find yourelf with some spare thinking time. You’ll beat yourself up for it– for embracing the memory, basking in the ambiance of its warm and fuzzy feeling and wishing with countless fibers in your body you could return to that very moment.
Needless to say, it is time to cut that out.
The reality is: whatever was may not ever be again, so why waste time hoping that it will? There is so much out there in the world to do and see, and consuming yourself with thoughts of the past will just leave you in a puddle of tears (if you’re that into your feelings) and countless questions you were too chicken to ask that person long time ago.
So how do you practice this art of moving on, you ask? By keeping it 100% with yourself at all times: there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging how you feel, just don’t stay there for long. Pick up a hobby. Read a book. Write a blog. Call up an old friend. File your taxes. Plan for your retirement. Do whatever you need to do to keep it moving. And I’m not saying to completely write this person off–just take a new approach to how you view them. We ourselves are powerful and capable beyond measure, and have the ability to change any situation that we see fit.
Before you know it, days will turn into weeks and weeks into months. And on a beautiful spring day, you’ll be chatting it up with your best friend at your favorite cafe downtown, catching up on life. She’ll notice that you’re beaming, just because you’re high on life — and then ask about that certain someone of yesterday. You’ll pause, take a sip of your $4 latte, smile and ablige–simply because you’re appreciative of the lesson learned and your growth in the process.
Some people in your life are only meant be seasonal, and that’s fine. And while you want to hold onto them forever, you may have to accept the fact that they just made a brief appearance to teach you something. The heart feels what the mind sometimes can’t comprehend, and I honestly think that’s one of the beautiful things of life.
So to the person that has inspired this post (whether you’re reading it or not) – thanks. Thank you for adding colorful strokes to the canvas which is my art of moving on, and schooling me on a few things along the way. For the memories of the past, present and maybe even the future. This in no way is a goodbye, more like “we’ll see where our paths cross later.”
But I guess only time will be able to tell that tale. 😉