Week One: Moving out of my own way

This first week of 2012 was an interesting one to say the least. Compared to how I brought in my 2011, it was very chaotic and hectic and rather overwhelming at times. The decision to work on NYE was not of my own, but I accepted the challenge and I thought I did a good job dealing with crowds of intoxicated party people walking in and out of a crowded restaurant. Needless to say, I looked at working at this establishment as a possible sign of good fortune for the new year. Boy, was I mistaken.

Yesterday was (in the words of the Kang of the South) a spaghetti junction of emotion. I experienced the ultimate send off mission that resulted in over-the-top assumption and stress static on my part. Everyone that knows me knows that I am an emotional being. I wear my heart on my sleeve and while that is something I am working on, it is a part of who I am. Any way, after a long day of being on an emotional roller coaster that I put myself on inevitably, I head home and laid my head down to sleep. As I woke up this morning, I realized all that added static I brought into my aura could have been avoided by just opening my mouth and asking a simple question. What was I so afraid of? There’s a thin line between being tactful and rudeness, I’m 99% sure I would have been hanging ten on the tactful side. But I’m constantly learning from these teachable moments that life brings my way– if you want something, you have to go after it, regardless if you fall flat on your face in the process.

From here on out, I’m making a vow to myself to throw caution to the wind and just risk the fall. The worst thing that can happen is that I scrape my knee, but what will I do? Dust myself off and keep it moving. I honestly believe that God has a lot in store for me this year, but if I continue to get in my way and question the places He has brought me too, I’m going to surely miss out on my many blessings. I deserve to be the happiest I can be, and I will be — second guessing myself and my capabilities is setting me back, and as I always say, “I don’t have the time for that.” He has brought me too far just to leave me stranded on the side of the road — pressure builds diamonds, and I’m in the process of become one of the most dazzling stones to ever behold.

-Chas.

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