it’s common. you have a disagreement with a friend, roommate or loved one and you can either handle it various ways, but there is nothing like having a good face to face conversation. i’m a natural communicator – but was i always like this? of course not! this skill has been years in the making: countless class presentations and workshops, fall outs with friends, awkward moments and random encounters with strangers. my rather bubbly and friendly personality has welcomed all of these situations, but sometimes i still fall back into that shy, timid 8-year-old that i was not too long ago…a young girl that had people speak up for her because she was too emotional to handle the conversation on her own. but i’m thankful for the people who have come in and out of my life for allowing me to (as my mom would call it) build a backbone.
for some people, it may be difficult to walk up to a random person a spark a conversation about something trivial like the weather or sports. but i usually find things like that to be rather easy than say, having a conversation about your characteristics, attitude, feelings, etcetera. people’s words can sometimes cut deep if you aren’t prepared for them, and they can allow you to build up emotional walls that will make it hard for the next person to break down. but what i’ve learned is that you can’t take things too personal — words (good and bad) are meant to be said in order to teach a lesson, and if you dwell on the bad for too long, they will manifest and block on the good that is ultimately supposed to be heard.
in these last 23 years, i’ve learned that words can be and are deciphered differently , whether written or spoken. but what gives them validity is the fact that there is meaning behind them, and i think one solid way that can done is when you are looking someone square in the face. as the old saying goes, “when someone shows you their true colors, believe them.”
just like everyone else, i am a work in progress and i’m learning to pick my battles carefully. it takes much more energy to confront someone with an attitude and ensue a shouting match than it is to calmly approach them and handle the situation in a civil manner. the older i get, the more that i realize time is too limited to waste on trivial things — apologize (if necessary), be the bigger person and move on.
you never know – at the time, the words that didn’t sit well with you may have been the ones you needed to hear. i’m taking responsibility for my actions, and i hope that this will just make me a better person as days go by.